What to Look for in a Personal Lubricant (And What to Ignore)

Most of us were never taught how to choose a lubricant. We grabbed whatever was on the pharmacy shelf, or picked based on a friend's recommendation, or bought whatever came in the most discreet packaging. The result: a lot of people using products that either do very little, or actively work against them.

Here is what actually matters.

The base: silicone, water, or oil?

The base of a lubricant determines everything — how it feels, how long it lasts, what it's compatible with, and how your body responds to it.

Water-based lubricants are the most common, and often the most underwhelming. They absorb quickly, require reapplication, and frequently contain glycerin (which can disrupt your natural pH) or preservatives like parabens. They're compatible with all condom types and toys, but they don't last.

Oil-based lubricants last longer, but they degrade latex condoms and can trap bacteria — not ideal for regular intimate use.

Silicone-based lubricants are the gold standard. They don't absorb into the skin, which means they last significantly longer than water-based alternatives. They're hypoallergenic, non-irritating, and the medical-grade versions have been used in gynaecological care for decades. They feel more like skin than product.

What to look for

Dimethicone and dimethiconol: the silicone compounds that create a silky, long-lasting glide without irritation. These are the same compounds used in medical devices and dermatological treatments — among the most well-studied ingredients in skincare.

Skin-compatible botanicals: ingredients like cold-pressed passionfruit seed oil (rich in linoleic acid, which the skin barrier genuinely needs) or Salicornia Herbacea extract (a marine botanical with real antioxidant and conditioning properties). Not fragrance. Not flavour. Not colouring.

Simplicity: the fewer the ingredients, the less there is to react to. A lubricant should not have a ten-line ingredient list.

What to ignore

Marketing claims about warming, tingling, or flavouring. These are almost always achieved with additives that irritate sensitive tissue. The goal of a lubricant is to reduce friction and support comfort — not to perform.

Gendered packaging and messaging. Lubricant is for everyone. The pink versus blue binary says more about marketing departments than it does about the product.

The idea that needing lubricant is a problem. Lubrication varies naturally throughout a cycle, across ages, and with stress, medication, hydration, and circumstance. Using a lubricant is no different from using a moisturiser. It is, quite simply, care.

A note on packaging

This is something we think about at Pearl more than most. The form a product takes communicates something — about who it's for, how it should be used, where it belongs. A plastic tube under the sink says one thing. A biodegradable capsule in your bag says something else entirely.

The product you choose to carry is part of how you care for yourself. It's worth choosing one that reflects that.